open the book

  • I go by the nickname Bun online

  • I am nonbinary (caedogender)

  • Pronouns are they/them

  • I am biro grey-ace (caedosexual)

  • I have OSDD.

IMPORTANT:

  • This is not and should not be used as a replacement for therapy, I am not a therapist or any kind of professional. I just want to offer emotional support to those who need it. I may not always know what to say but if you need a space to share your story, vent, or ask for advice, my blog is the space to do so and I will answer as thoughtfully as I can.

  • Because I’m not a therapist, this is not a therapist-client dynamic, and therefore anything you share is as confidential as making a public post, so sending your message anonymously is highly recommended, or you can DM me personally. If you opt out of anonymity I will reach out to you before answering to ensure this was not accidental. If you want me to delete your ask after it has been posted you may ask me to do so. You may also ask me to answer privately so that only you see your ask and my answer, but note that once I send it your way, I can no longer see it.

  • Just know that it is ultimately your up to your discretion what you do and do not share. You are invited to share your story or anything you need to get off your chest, but you are in no way obligated to do so.

My qualifications:

  • I am currently a full-time case manager at a domestic violence shelter.

  • I am the founder of a domestic violence awareness and prevention club at my former high school called Love Doesn't Shove. I collaborated with OneLove for an assembly about teen dating violence.

  • I am a mod at traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors

  • I volunteer with Heartsupport

  • I volunteer with Kokobot

  • I was part of Active Minds in college

  • I have completed trainings such as MHFA (Mental Health First Aid), QPR, Trauma Informed Care, safeTALK and Cultural Responsiveness.

  • I studied creative writing. I also took classes such as sociology, intro to counseling, intro to family, adolescent development, and intro to expressive art therapy.

  • I have answered ~2k asks and you can see some of the thank-you letters here. You can read more about me here and here.

If you’re an immediate danger to yourself or others or you need medical or other professional advice I obviously recommend talking to an authority, crisis line, or professional who knows what to do. You matter and you deserve help. You may reach out to me as well if you are in crisis but only under the presumption that you are getting some other, more effective type of help as well. Heartsupport has an excel sheet of international crisis lines for all kinds of crises, whether it pertains to domestic violence, suicide, queer issues, eating disorders, substance abuse, men's issues, etc.If you’re going through something right now or if you’ve been through any kind of trauma, please know that you are not alone, you are seen, and you are heard, and there are people such as myself who are here for you if you need to talk to someone. My inbox is open to you as long as you are respectful to me and the other askers.

you can do things such as:

  • share your trauma story

  • ask for advice/validation

  • vent

  • share something nice that happened to you, in the world, an accomplishment you made, or something you're proud of about yourself

  • ask me not to give advice or respond at all to your ask

  • request a dream interpretation

  • ask me about my trauma or how i cope

  • offer advice/support for a previous anon

  • ask to have your earlier ask(s) deleted

you can't do things such as:

  • say an abuser's full name

  • attempt to doxx anyone

  • make a threat, regardless who to (even @ abuser, yes perhaps they deserve awful things but threats are against TOS)

  • belittle (downplay/criticize someone else's trauma)

  • troll (if you're here to troll, consider using this blog as an opportunity to vent instead. that way, i'll be more likely to actually listen to you and respond genuinely.)

please note:

  • i prioritize my mental health and work over this blog, and so it might take longer than usual for me to respond to your ask. this is not at all your fault and it doesn't mean that what you shared wasn't important, i just need time, especially if the content is long, heavy, and/or triggering for me. I also often need some time to emotionally/psychologically recharge between asks, so I may take indefinite breaks between answers. i typically answer asks within a week, but this varies depending on what's going on in my life.

  • it's okay to send me regular, non-trauma asks, but it might be low priority. my inbox is intended for trauma-related asks.

  • i do sometimes delete asks. this will be for one of the following reasons: i felt that your ask was disingenuous, distasteful, didn't make sense, you requested not to post or delete after posting, or other reasons. but 99% of my asks are answered.

Anyone who fits these critera, I am asking you not to follow me, like my posts, or reblog them. You CAN send asks, comment, and message me, as long as it remains respectful.I don't expect everyone on this list to respect my boundaries but nonetheless I think it's still important for you to know what I don't tolerate. I also know that part of the criticism around DNI lists is essentially "listing your triggers" however none of these are necessarily triggering to me, mostly just distasteful to me and will simply block on sight.
I'm happy to explain why any of these are on the list.

  • NSFW, especially DDLG

  • lolita/coquettecore

  • misogynists, transphobes, TERFs

  • MAPs, MAAs, clovergender, other pedophiles

  • ableists, sanists

  • zoos, zetas, whatever animal-fuckers call themselves these days

  • proud boys and other racists

  • blogs with heavy gore or snuff

  • thinspo or ED (I report on sight)

  • anti-traumacore/ventcore

  • anti-endogenic

  • anti-caedogender/caedosexual (you don't believe trauma can affect or change gender identity or sexual orientation & drive)

  • christians tread carefully

  • narc abuse truthers tread carefully

  • former abusers tread carefully. active abusers not welcome (obviously)

  • #tw - my blog is inherently triggering but I will occasionally tag my content if I feel it could be particularly upsetting. if you’re triggered by anything here that does not have this tag, please gently let me know where and I’ll add it immediately.

  • #lovemail - asks that wish me well, thank me, or defend me

  • #hatemail - asks that degrade or rudely/unnecessarily criticize me/others (not all hatemail I receive is answered)

  • #gore - anything depicting blood or body horror (i don't usually reblog intense gore as even i can't handle it)

  • #text - anything that contains text & doesn't fit the blog's nonverbal, visual aesthetic

  • #asks

  • #oc - original content/my art

  • #abusers - I usually use this tag for when we talk about our abusers. I am never using this tag in reference to the anon themselves unless they have explicitly stated they were an abuser.

  • i also use #csa, #cocsa, #nccsa, #vent, #trauma, #trauma vent, #ptsd, #cptsd, #bpd, #bpd positivity, #npd, #npd positivity, #gaslighting, etc.

anon tags currently in use (avoid these so I don't get you confused with them):

  • adam anon

  • ashley anon

  • angelo anon

  • aura anon

  • charlie anon

  • chai anon

  • dottie anon

  • ev anon

  • fried egg gummy anon

  • happy child anon

  • iz anon

  • liz anon

  • mikey anon

  • ph anon

  • pink anon (uses pink text)

  • pluvi anon

  • s anon

  • sabrina anon

  • self interview anon

  • skylar anon

  • sunny anon

  • trafficking anon

  • trauma blog advice anon

  • writer anon

  • DW 🍂 anon

  • 🐈⬛ anon

  • 💜🦊 anon

  • 🖤 anon

  • 🐊 anon

  • 🧤 anon

  • 🍀anon

  • ✨ anon

  • 🍉 anon

  • 🎃 anon

  • 👁️anon

  • 🕷 anon

  • 💔 anon

  • 🍰 anon

(non-exhaustive)